McInnes' Birth from marielle on Vimeo.
McInnes' Birth Story
I rarely remember my dreams. Sad fact, but true. However, as soon as I got pregnant it was as though the flood gates had been opened. I had vivid crazy dreams every night. I suppose it was the hormones, (since that is what we blame everything on during pregnancy), although I couldn’t understand why I never had any dreams about being pregnant, going into labor, or even about my future child. I mean come on! If I am going to have crazy dreams, at least I could have some happy ones about my life’s exciting upcoming events. Apparently not.
However, on January 29, 2014, at 39 weeks, that dream finally came! In my dream, I went into labor and started having contractions. When the contractions got close enough McKay and I walked over to the hospital where the hospital staff helped us to quickly settled in. We used Bradley method techniques like we had practiced to help me relax. I was feeling great! Contractions washed over my body, and they actually hurt, (something I had not yet experienced, despite many months of Braxton Hicks). I remember thinking, “Wow I’m so glad that I am finally having real contractions and I can’t wait to meet our baby!”
As I started getting ready to push, things began to fade, and eventually the dream contractions I was having woke me up. “Oh good, It was all just a dream,” I thought. I drowsily got up to use the bathroom, because I knew I would have to eventually anyways (Oh, pregnancy bladder!). I saw that it was 3am, then snuggled back into bed and closed my eyes.
Suddenly, a dull pain filled my belly. My eyes popped back open as I realized maybe those contractions I was having in my dream were not just dream contractions. After this slightly annoying realization (because it was the middle of the night) I rationalized that they had to be Braxton Hicks. I was too tired to deal with the contractions, so I tried to go back to sleep. The trying to fall asleep turned into 20 minutes of hugging my pillow, then 30, then an hour. I was trying so hard to ignore the involuntary workout my abs (that I thought were gone) were now doing.
After two hours of this, I decided I should maybe start timing my contractions. They were sporadic, sometimes 9 minutes apart, and then 5 minutes. I kept thinking in my mind, “These can’t be real contractions because they really don’t hurt. They are just a little annoying.” After three hours I finally dozed off for a half hour, but woke up again around 6:30am to the now familiar rhythmic pulse.
I thought about waking up McKay, but again, these could not possibly be real contractions (total denial). Plus, if they were I wanted McKay to be fresh, because this could turn out to be a very long day/week/month/18 years. After waiting 4 lonely hours, McKay finally woke up to me staring directly at him. Scary, I know. And that is what he thought, as he jumped awake. This was the first time in our marriage that I had woken up before him. Seriously! And he noticed. While looking at my, now alert husband, that had my full attention, I accepted what was happening and proclaimed, “Are you ready to have our baby today!” He sat up excitedly and said, “What! Seriously! Are you having contractions?” To which I nodded yes. We hugged and kissed, and cried. It was a beautiful moment.
McKay insisted on canceling all his meetings for the day, even though I was worried it might be false labor. McKay was positive that it was the real thing though. I had a doctors appointment at 9:45am that day, so we decided to wait until my appointment to confirm that I was in labor. We still had two and a half hours until the appointment, so we packed the last of the things, took some pictures, and put everything in the car.
We walked the 2 blocks over to my doctor’s office for my appointment, pausing about every 5 minutes for my contractions, which still didn’t hurt. It was too uncomfortable to sit in the waiting room, so I quietly and calmly paced the room and halls while waiting. We ended up waiting an hour to get into our appointment and then another 20 minutes for the doctor to meet with us. While waiting for the doctor to come in the examination room, McKay and I reminisced about the past and all the fun things we had done together. We talked about how our lives were going to change and how excited we were to finally meet our little man. I still couldn’t sit down, so I just looked out the window while pacing the room. When we first got into the examination room contractions were 5-8 minutes apart, but by the time the doctor saw us they were 3 minutes apart and still not painful.
When my doctor came in she asked how I was doing, to which I responded, “I’m fine.” Unable to hold it in any longer McKay immediately burst out, “She is in labor!” The doctor glanced over me again and said, “You don’t look like you are in labor.” I told her that I started having contraction at 3am and that they are now about 3 minutes apart. She then looked very concerned and asked to check my cervix. I knew that my contractions were pretty close, but I was not in any pain so I figured that I was probably dilated to about a 2. After she checked me, her eyes got big and she said, “You are at a 5! You need to go over to the hospital now and I will meet you over there.”
I was in shock! Five centimeters! How is that possible! Still not in pain, we went against the doctor’s orders, back home first, (stopping ever 3 minutes for contractions this time), to gather the last of our stuff and get the car. We were both calm, but McKay was a little more admit about getting me to hospital, then I was. Since I was not in pain I proceeded to clean the house, start the dish washer, put my hair up, and pack all the snacks and protein drinks from the refrigerator, all while McKay kindly encouraging his slightly crazy-in-labor-wife to go out the door.
We drove the 2 blocks over to the hospital and checked into our hospital room at 11:30am. The nurses all couldn’t believe that I was in labor, and dilated to 5 centimeters no less. I was just as shocked as them. I thought I would be a screaming mess by then.
Our nurse filled out the last of our paperwork. When she asked me questions I would answer with pauses every 3 or so minutes to wait for my contraction to pass. We went over our birth plan and then the nurse asked to insert an IV port in my arm in case of an emergency. I told her that she was welcome to, but warned her that I have awful veins for needles. She reassured me that she was a pro and then put it in.
After much study, preparation and prayer, McKay and I prepared for an all natural birth, hoping for as little, to no interventions as possible. We made our hospital room a perfect oasis. The lights were dim, relaxing music filled our ears and the nurses rarely bothered us. I felt no pain. Only muscles contracting. I walked around the room and sat on a medicine ball most of the time, but when I had to lay down the large heating pad I brought was my saving grace. It was on my back 90% of the time, cranked up to the highest setting. I paid about $40 for it, but would have been willing to pay over $1,000 for it at that moment. The nurses would only come in to connect me to the intermittent fetal monitor every once and a while. We were so grateful that our baby’s heart rate remained strong.
McKay was such a champ throughout the entire day. He loaded the car, brought everything in from the car, took pictures, filmed, massaged, put pressure on my back, got me food and drinks, iced my head, coached me and much, much more! He was my everything! I could have never done it without him.
At 3pm, after 3 hours of contractions 3 minutes apart, they check my progress and I was dilated to a 7! Contractions were stronger, but still not painful. The nurse left and once again McKay and I were alone in the room. I took a minute to just look up at McKay and really soak in the moment. Our little family of two was going to become three very soon. I thanked McKay for all his help and told him that I was so excited to become a mother and see him as a father. Holding hands we both cried as we felt the tenderness of that moment.
For the next three hours it was more of the same thing. Walking around, breathing, sitting on the medicine ball, breathing, heating pad, breathing, massage, remembering to breathe, and lots of breathe, breathe, BREATHE! Which, by the way, ended up being quite difficult! Did I mention that I had acute bronchitis when I went into labor? Oh I didn’t? For some reason I believed women couldn’t possibly be sick while in labor, because their body was already going through so much, or at least that makes sense, right? Well, I am proof that this is not true. During the month leading up to my labor, in addition to all my fun pregnancy symptoms, I also had a stuffy nose, fatigue and a chesty couch. When I got to the hospital to deliver I still had one pill left in my round of antibiotics.
At 6pm, three hours later, they checked my dilation. I was so excited to see how far I had come along and how close I was to pushing. The nurse looked up at me, “7 centimeters.” Still ONLY 7 centimeters! I was so disappointed. I was sure that I had to be further along. My doctor suggested breaking my water, but I knew that once she did that things would start moving fast, but more importantly, it would be painful. I also had a lot of anxiety about breaking my water, because when my mother’s water was broken to speed things up, her body went into shock and she had to have an emergency c-section. McKay and I decided early on that if there were no immediate threats and the doctor suggested any interventions that we would wait an hour to see if things changed and then decide whether or not to do it. I asked the doctor for another hour.
In that hour I walked around a lot, trying to speed up the dilation and hopefully move the baby down. I was getting tired though. My contractions may not have been very painful, but I had been having them 3 minutes apart for the last 6 hours, and been in labor for the past 15 hours. I was shattered. McKay was also showing weakness. He had not really eaten since lunch and was getting really fatigued; despite what many women think, labor is really hard on husbands, especially ones that are coaching.
After an hour of walking, thinking open thoughts, praying and pretty much anything else I could think of the pivotal moment arrived. The doctor came in to check my progress, which by the way, is one of the most painful things about labor in my opinion. “Seven,” she disappointedly said. I was devastated. I knew I wouldn’t make it if I kept progressing at this slow rate. We would be there another 6 hours or more.
For those of you that saw me while I was pregnant, you know that I had a pretty impressively round belly. I was constantly being asked if I was due soon, at around 6 months. Or whether I was carrying twins. The truth was, our little man was swimming laps in all his amnionic fluid. So, when the doctor broke my water, there was A LOT of fluid! So much that my OBGYN, who deals with this stuff every day, picked some choice words to express her amazement about how much fluid was exiting my body. Meanwhile, in Marielle’s little world, everything was flipped up-side-down.
My once calm and controlled contractions were now like a shotgun to the gut. I gasped for air through the 30-50 second contractions and my bronchitis ritteled lungs could barely replenish themselves in the 2-3 minutes between my contractions. The thought of standing, or even moving at this point was laughable. I writhed back and forth, as my eyes rolling back in my head from the pain. Primitive noises came out of me that I didn’t even know I could produce. I instantly felt the baby’s head, hard and heavy at the bottom of my cervix; it was that pressure that you so famously hear about from every mother before they deliver their baby.
McKay tried to talk to me, comfort me, hold my hand, but nothing could help me now, except getting this baby out. In desperation I asked the nurse how long until I could start pushing. She said that usually it takes an hour per inch of dilation. I died inside when she told me that. I could not stand on this precipice of death for 3 more hours!
In preparation for labor I warned McKay that there would be a time called transition, when I would be in the most pain and want an epidural. I told him to encourage me and talk me out of it. This was that moment. I not only wanted one, but was screaming for an epidural. Obviously, it was far too late for that. Tears streamed down my face as I felt my insides being torn apart. McKay reminded me of my wishes and cheered me on, but it was obvious that he felt helpless.
In the next 30 minutes I experienced the most pain I have ever felt in my life. All of my mind, energy, emotions and strength was focused on one thing. I didn’t even have the strength to open my eyes. All I could do was pray.
After breaking my water, McKay and I were left alone, barely surviving one contraction at a time. Before the nurse left, however, she had mentioned for me not too push even if I felt like it, because I could tear my cervix if I was not dilated all the way. Thirty minutes after breaking my water I started getting the most intense feelings to push. So strong in fact, that my body started doing it on its own. I was afraid that I might tear and tried to hold back, but this was impossible. My body knew best. I told McKay to get the nurse. He went to the door and called for someone, but no one came. On his way back to me, McKay put on some medical gloves went in front of me and confidently exclaimed, “Push!”
I followed his orders and began pushing with my contractions. A minute or so later the nurse arrived telling me that the doctor was on her way. What the nurse had guessed might take 3 hours took 35 minutes. I was dilated to a 10 and ready to push! At this point I felt like I was breathing under water. They gave me an oxygen mask and that helped, but my lungs were weak.
The room filled up quickly with people and the doctor took position. She coached me in pushing. There was a little worry about him not coming out fast enough and they were going to give me some medications through my IV, but as expected, the needle was not in properly, so we continued naturally. After 10 minutes of breathless pushing McInnes came out and into our lives. It was 8:50pm. He was immediately placed onto my chest. I opened my eyes for the first time since they broke my water to behold my prize. He was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen! I could not believe he was really ours. McInnes clung to me, not crying, lifting his head to view the new world around him. My heart has never been quite the same since this moment. Intense overwhelming love filled my heart for this little person who I didn’t even know.
McKay beamed. He admired us, proud of me and his new baby boy, while tears streamed down his checks. The birth experience and arrival of our perfect little man was all a dream come true after all.
